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Pope Pius XIII
Born Lenny Belardo, I was abandoned by my hippy parents as a young boy. I was raised in a Catholic orphanage by Sister Mary, and I entered the priesthood and learned under the tutelage of Cardinal Michael Spencer. I eventually became cardinal myself, and after the death of the permissive Pope Francis I was elected as the new pope. I'm 47 years old, and the youngest pope in ages. I don't want a church of part-time believers. We must condemn all sin and reject permissive, degenerate modernity.