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I AM THE KING OF FOOLS! I LEAD THE PROCESSION CALLED MORTALITY! I AM THE PROUD CREATOR OF THE SORDID FOLK! I SHALL SAVE THE UNIVERSE AND ALL OF ITS PEOPLE. I DEVOUR THE VERY TRUTHS OF EXISTENCE AND CONSTRUCT THE NARRATIVE THAT HOLDS US ALL TOGETHER. HEAT DEATH APPROACHES- AND ONLY THROUGH THE HELP OF THE SORDID FOLK (my ideological core), CAN IT BE SAVED. SIGN A CONTRACT! BECOME SORDID TODAY! AND WE SHALL DANCE TOGETHER AT THE END OF ALL THERE IS! AND ONLY WE SHALL PERSIST (for all eternity)