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Engineer
Hey look, buddy, I'm an Engineer. That means I solve problems. Not problems like "What is beauty?", because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy. I solve practical problems.. Fr'instance... ...How am I going to stop some big mean mother hubbard from tearing me a structurally superfluous new behind? The answer... ...use a gun. And if that don't work.... ...use more gun. Like this heavy caliber, tripod-mounted, little ol' number designed by me... ...Built by me...